Yoga and Life

My First Yoga Retreat – Stretching the Mind More Than the Body

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I am back from my first ever yoga retreat and it was amazing! But mostly in ways I never expected. I had pictured days filled with physical exploration — learning new postures, finding more space in my body, fine tuning my form. And some of that did happen. But mostly it was an internal exploration — finding better control of my breath, opening my mind through meditation, and finding a way to look inward and find peace and ease waiting there. Pretty heavy, huh? And in some ways it was, but in other ways I had never felt lighter.

At the start, I was like a fish out of water. The yoga was very different from my normal Bikram practice, with new postures and a flow style. This I expected. But it was also very different in texture and tone, which surprised me. For example, the lack of mirrors threw me. How could I know if I was properly aligned if I couldn’t see my body? There was also so much choice! In Bikram we all move together, doing the same postures for the same durations of time. But here, you could do a downward dog or a child’s pose at the end of a flow sequence. You could go through a vinyasa on the way to downward dog or not. And everyone was doing this at their own pace! How was I supposed to know which postures to do and how long to hold them? And the use of the props felt like cheating.

But I decided “when in Rome,” and so I did it their way. I tried to feel my alignment with my hands rather than see it. I sometimes chose the downward dog and other times the child’s pose depending on how I felt. I moved at my own pace or just copied the pace of whoever looked like they knew what they were doing. And I had no choice but to use the props, as some of the postures were inaccessible without them.

As the week went on, I got more comfortable with it all, and the soreness in my muscles told me I was getting the physical benefits of this new practice. In particular, I felt a big change in my ability to access and utilize the muscles in my core and shoulders. I am excited to apply that to my Bikram practice!

But the biggest transformation for me on this retreat came in the most surprising place — final savasna. These were not the final two-minute savasnas of my Bikram practice, but long and textured affairs with breath work and visualizations. True meditations. Fascinating and altering.

Of course I hated them at first. Laying on my back on a hard wood floor breathing in silence with twenty other people for up to 30 minutes was just not my idea of a good time. I felt AWKWARD! It was just SO quiet. My stomach started to gurgle. I started sweating. I could not find my breath. I kept having to swallow. I also felt lazy. Why had we stopped doing the “real” yoga only to lie here and do nothing? I could not quiet my thoughts so I could not pay attention to what the teacher was guiding us to do. That was the first night.

The next morning, I knew it was coming, so I was more mentally prepared. I set up a blanket on my mat like the other yogis had, so I was more comfortable. I forced myself to listen to the teacher’s words rather than my own panicked musings. I felt the breath moving in and out of my body more calmly. I tried to look inward and visualize the energy and light they were discussing. It didn’t work all that well, but I felt more relaxed at the end of it. That evening it went a little better. And then a little better the next morning. I remembered — it is a practice.

As my body stopped fighting it, my mind opened to it. I began to notice a new feeling of alertness and calm after the savasna/meditation. I started to actually like it and the more I liked it, the more open to it I became. By the end of the week, I looked forward to the final savasna and other meditation sessions at the retreat! My mind had been stretched. So much, in fact, that I plan to continue exploring meditation at home to see if I can incorporate it into my daily life.

Fellow yogis, is meditation an important part of your yoga practice?

Happy Birthday to Me – My First Yoga Retreat!

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This week is my birthday – 46 years young. I always enjoy my birthday, and this year should be no exception, because I am going on my first ever yoga retreat! I tried to go on a Bikram yoga retreat, but unfortunately the timing and locations did not work well, so I am going on a more general yoga retreat instead. I am excited, but I must admit I am also a little bit nervous. While I have a regular Bikram yoga practice, I have not done much yoga other than Bikram. I know the names of some of the postures (i.e., downward dog, pigeon, etc), but I don’t know the specifics of the poses — the proper alignment or much of anything else. And the class will probably be different everyday!

Will I understand how to do the postures? In the few non-Bikram yoga classes I have attended (mostly at a hotel on vacation when there is no Bikram studio in town), the teachers have not typically provided specific directions for each posture. They say something like, “Push yourself up through plank and back into downward dog.” That is fine, but I’m not sure exactly what that means. How far apart should my feet be? Where should I be feeling the stretch? Should my gaze be between my feet or my hands or somewhere else? I don’t know. I am hoping I will get many more details in class during the retreat. If not, I will be sure to ask after class.

Can I maintain my composure? In Bikram class, I know the postures well and use class to work on my form and depth. At the retreat, I will be starting from scratch, which could be a bit humbling. I hope to approach it like I advise others to approach their first Bikram yoga class — with no expectations and with the composure to just take the practice as it comes. Easier said than done, but a great lesson for me in humility and mindfulness.

How strenuous will the yoga be? I am ashamed of myself for thinking that, because it is such a typical stereotype of yoga – that it is not a vigorous workout. Obviously, I know this to be completely false from my Bikram practice. Yet, here I am worrying that the yoga might not be vigorous enough. Kind of ironic. I bet it knocks me on my back.

Despite my worries, I am very much looking forward to the retreat! At the very least, it will be a good opportunity to challenge myself and learn something new. My hope is that it will not only deepen my love of the practice of yoga, but also take me a little farther down the road of self-exploration that I have begun with my Bikram yoga practice. I will let you know how it goes!

Fellow yogis, have you ever attended a yoga retreat?

How Do I Get A Grip?

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My grip has been slipping in class lately. I wonder if it is the extra humidity in the room for winter, but whatever the reason, it has helped me to realize how critical the grip is to the integrity of a posture. Without a steady grip, the posture cannot develop and deepen. There is no stability, and without stability, there is no opportunity to push ourselves forward and grow.

I have always been very focused on my grip. I make sure there is a solid intertwine of the fingers and thumbs, all the way to the knuckles. As extra glue, some teachers recommend touching the fingertips of the thumb and index fingers (on the same hand) together to lock the grip in place. I like to do that. I also like to switch up my grip in the second set of each posture. See my post Switch Up Your Grip For a More Balanced Practice for more on this. I think it adds another layer of discipline to the practice, stretches the body more evenly, and creates a stronger grip overall since it works all the fingers evenly.

But even with all that focus, it has become challenging for me to maintain my grip throughout the length of certain postures. It is most noticeable in Standing Head to Knee. When I first kick out, my grip is solid and firm, but by the end, my fingers have sometimes slipped so much that only the very tips of my fingers are still interlaced. Also in Standing Bow Pose — at the start of the posture, I have a solid hold on my leg at the ankle, but by the end, it may just be the fingertips. On the floor, this sometimes happens in Bow Pose and Head to Knee with Stretching Pose.

Today I may have had a breakthrough, however. I began to gently squeeze the tips of my fingers onto the outside of the opposite hand like they were latching onto the hand itself rather than just the other hand’s fingers. In this way, I got the whole hand involved in the grip. I am hoping this will help.

Thinking about my grip in class got me thinking about the grip we take on things in our life as well. In Bikram, the best grip is strong, yet flexible so it can hold the posture steady, but allow it to deepen. Hold on too tight and the muscles won’t relax and stretch as the posture dictates. Hold on too loosely and you will lose the grip and fall out of the posture.

Same as in life. How steadily we hold fast to those we love, and to what we care about helps define who we are and shapes our behavior and relationships. Hold on too tightly and you can smother growth and drive important people and things away. Hold on too loosely and the connection is lost. I love when my practice informs my life like that.

Fellow yogis, how do you get a grip?

I Sweat Like A Pig! Or Is It Like A Dog?

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I sweat like a pig. You’re probably thinking – that is obvious – everyone sweats like a pig in Bikram Yoga class! And that is true. But I sweat like a pig outside of class! Whenever my body gets just a little bit warm, it’s like a floodgate has opened and the sweat just pours out. And I mean out of every pore!

I never used to sweat before I started Bikram – not even a dancer’s glow. I could be in the rainforest with temperatures in the 90s and 99% humidity, and I was fresh as a daisy. But no more. In some ways, this is good. Sweating is a healthy way to rid the body of toxins, and it is the best and most natural way to cool down. But in other ways, it is not so good. Particularly when you are in an important meeting in a slightly warm room and you can feel the sweat dripping down your back. That can be kind of embarrassing.

I think the reason for this change is that I actually sweat like a dog. Not just any dog, but Pavlov’s dog. In case you skipped Psych-101, here is the quick and dirty according to Wikipedia and Simply Psychology. Ivan Pavlov was a Russian physiologist who studied classical conditioning in the 1890s. His best known work centered on salivation in dogs. In his experiments, Pavlov rang a bell and then gave the dog food. After several repetitions, the dogs started to salivate when they heard the bell, even if no food was offered to them. In other words, the dogs started to associate the bell with food and their bodies would respond as such. I think this has happened to me. My body now responds to heat like it is in Bikram yoga class, even if there isn’t a studio around for miles!

This all occurred to me as my family and I were hiking on vacation over the holidays. It was in the 80s and fairly humid but not too hot really. All was fine until we started ascending a hill. I felt my body heating up and then all of a sudden, the flood, just like in class. Nobody else on the hike had even broken a sweat! I said to my family, “I am sweating like a pig! Why are none of you sweating?” They said, “That sounds like a blog post”  So here we are…

Fellow yogis, do you sweat like a pig outside of class?

Happy 2015! – Can The New Year Give Us a Second Set?

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It’s that time of year again! The calendar is changing and with that, we all get a fresh start in a new year. Just like in class, when each set is a fresh start. I love that about the Bikram yoga series – each set is a new beginning, and a new chance to move forward in your practice.  Can the change in the calendar give us a second set in life?

For as long as I can remember I have been making New Year’s resolutions.  Some years, I actually keep them :  ).  I remember a string of years when the same resolution kept appearing on the list, with no real progress made. I wanted to be more patient, which is a great goal, but that type of resolution was just too general for me, making it hard to take action against.  What did it mean exactly, and how would I measure success?  My repeated failure to keep this resolution made me realize that I was going about it the wrong way. I needed my resolutions to be more specific, with clear action steps identified.  That way I could add it into my routine, make it a habit and make progress.

So last year, I tried something very specific, and it made a big difference.  Our family decided to stop using bottled water. For years, we had probably consumed a large Costco case of 8 oz water bottles each month.  I know – pretty bad.  So last December, we just stopped buying them and instead we bought 4 stainless steel water bottles (one for each of us) and a Brita pitcher to keep in the refrigerator.  It was inconvenient at first, but then it became a habit, and that made it easy.  Now it is just second nature.  Success!

How about in the hot room?  Would a New Year’s resolution be a way to push my practice forward?  Should I pick one thing to add into my practice that could become a habit and then be easy to keep?  I think so.  In that spirit, in 2015, I will work to consistently get into Savasna within 3 counts.  I have seen teachers demonstrate it – the quick turn, straighten the legs and lie back. I do it sometimes, but this year I will work to make it second nature — a habit. Not only will this add an additional layer of discipline to my practice, but the extra Savasna time should give me more energy for the back half of class.  I am excited to try.

Fellow yogis, do you have a resolution for your practice in 2015?

Happy New Year to all my readers!  I am looking forward to a great 2015 at Hot Off The Mat and in the hot room!